


Kaminari was the traitor all along

by CharaTheQuartz



Series: Todoroki the rich insomniac [1]
Category: Boku no Hero Academia, My Hero Academia
Genre: 4 am stories, Crack, F/M, Food Play, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Hobos, Ice Skating, Late Christmas, Squad, Wrestling, but in a funny way, gift shopping, haunted mall, ish, late night, teenagers being teenagers, these children are pure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 06:34:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17218793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharaTheQuartz/pseuds/CharaTheQuartz
Summary: Imagine Ojiro...”Hagakure actually stops fighting then, her guard shook with every word Shinsou Hitoshi speaks.Fucking jackpot.(So, i have not actually read any traitor metas expect ones with Uraraka and Kirishima, but this is basically how the two most famous ones, plays out.)





	Kaminari was the traitor all along

The mall they are basically residing in for the night is, as Bakuhoe would have said, a fucking shit hole. 

It is not that cramped, but there are still so few people in here, and the ones who are walking or sleeping here looks either super shady or homeless. And Denki got nothing against homeless people, they have helped the “sugar baby” squad out before. Hell, Aizawa looks like some kinky hobo anyway! But anyone who is willing to gnaw on the tiles so they are comfortable to sleep on will always scare him, and thats exactly what the homeless people here are doing.

Some lights flicker, which makes the mall look even more haunted. Like Denki said, most of the tiles are moveable and destroyed, even the platforms that are supposed to hide the ceiling gives off powder now and then. There is a fountain in the center, but there rarely sprouts water. When it is willing to sprout the juice, its brown and lasts only four point five rapid seconds. Trust him, his candy-ass counted. As he is Denki, he was going to comment on this shady ass place, but his new bestest-friend Shinsou is quicker than him. Damn, here the shade comes, Denki thinks sarcastically but somewhat with excitement. Shinsou can say the weirdest, most compelling shit sometimes.

“Hagakure, what the actual fuck.” Eh. Not as clever as what Denki would say, but that is the overall mood anyway. 

The girl straightens up, Denki suspects as he counts the pink stars crinkling up on her pajamas while her shoulders rise to her neck. “Come on, dudes! Dun’ judge so fast, the people here are super nice‘n stuff! Its cheap too..” she slurs shyly, but it seems like she knows her words wont cut it.

“But Hakagure... You know Todoroki doesn’t care about being cheap. He’ll literally buy anything no matter the price, maybe even double the price.” Yaoyorozu reasons, still as logical without much sleep. What a legend; Denki isn’t even logical when he is awake. 

Todoroki turns away at the mention of his name, as if he had zoned out all this time. Which he probably has. Finally he speaks, “Thats true. I’ll have to double the price while we’re here.” Todoroki comments idly as he starts to walk further inside the mall. 

But that means...

“Wait now, hold up... Todoroki, are we actually gonna stay here?!” Denki speaks up, while Shinsou sighs dramatically beside him. 

“Yes?” He replies casually, as if the second floor- no, the goddamn ceiling was not about to fall down on everyone. “I don’t think we’ll find another mall open at this hour, so its the best we got.” 

“Well okay. Lets just fucking die of water poisoning and tile cannibals because we are so desperate for some glorified Christmas gifts. That plan sounds completely bulletproof, chief.” Shinsou bites back with arms crossed. He does not look as menacing with the cat hoodie on, the cat ears protruding off it not lowering like they are supposed to. Yaoyorozu and Midoriya nods along, but it was hard to see Midoriya’s nod as he had his face covered by both hands. 

“Kirishima eats tiles too.” Todoroki reasons as he looks up the price of a plastic ball. It was one cheap motherfucker. He puts it down again.

“Don’t you drag my shark bro into this! It was ONE time!” He speaks up, running up with wobbling feet to slap his hand onto Todoroki’s mouth. Instead he is about to fall right into the tiny ball pit full off basketballs, behind Todoroki. He sees a flash of green, and happily shouts after Midoriya, his hero, who’d save his fall somewhat. Man, I love that little dude, Denki thinks. 

“Your computer, Kaminari!” Midoriya cries out, grabbing the whole computer bag while he lets Denki fall. 

Well, Denki thinks idly with his face crushed into basketballs. He did save me from having to pay for a broken computer. Still a hero. 

Yaoyorozu helps him up. When they both look up, Todoroki, Shinsou and Hagakure had moved on.

“So we’re really staying here. With the tile eaters.” Kaminari mumbles.

Midoriya, still bless his soul, gives Denki back his computer and replies, “we could leave. Yaoyorozu only has to create a vehicle of some sort, or I could lift us home.” He starts to mumble, but he catches himself before he goes off the racks, “But you would not be able to buy your christmas gifts then.” 

Denki groans, and Yaoyorozu pats his back. “Its okay Kaminari, if anything happens, we will protect you.” She smiles warmly at him. After the stressful ride to come here, she probably knows how to now. Therefore, her words did help soothe the blonde down.

After all, he is bearing precious cargo.

 

(The computer, you fucking creeps)

 

...

 

“Hagakure, I dare you to take a sample of that thing.” 

Hitoshi points at a brown oval thing with a strong smell. The oval thing is set upon a tiny triangle plate, and everyone knows triangles are dangerous. The smell itself does not remind Hitoshi of any candy he has ever eaten before, but more of rotten gas and the kind of dirty toilet some rats would love to reside in. 

“Shinsou, ew! Thats diarrhea or sum’!” Hagakure belches, hitting him lightly for daring her to do something so gross. But it sure is fun to look at the ugly candy. They are in the candy store, after all, even though Hitoshi doubts any of them will buy anything from it.

“Yes, it is indeed some shit.” Todoroki comments, and resumes to freeze a pack of gummy men after giving them ridiculous poses. 

Hitoshi rubs his arm, since it actually hurt after the hit. No one, not even the king of insomniacs, are immune to the childishness staying up late gives you. 

“You did say you’d do anything for us since we let you leech of rich boy’s credit card, even after that little stunt you tried to pull,” he reminds her. 

And that was true. Hitoshi remembers the moment as if it was a simple hour ago, which it probably was. They drove to the mall, but something happened. Kaminari for one, became really emotional about his essay, which opted Yayourozu to try and help him, but that did not work out so she became emotional too. Then Midoriya started crying, Hagakure tried to lighten the mood but Todoroki snapped at her when Midoriya started to cry even harder. This made Hagakure emotional too, and explosive moments where shared; The point is they were in dire need after those intense moments in the car. Ironically, Hagakure who argued with Todoroki, ended up being the key to sneaking him from the police. None of them could believe what happened next.

“You were almost willing to let Todoroki go to jail as well. Just because you forgot to buy Christmas gifts.” Hitoshi pushes on, walking towards the brown little shit. His voice becomes more nasal as he went closer, trying to not breathe too much around the stink.

“He said you got his card info! You’d bail’em out anyway!” She whines, almost crying, maybe. He cant blame her. It is pretty late, almost 3AM, so she must be tired, and feel guilty for her poor choices. Plus, she has to eat the candy version of poo. Its a rather miserable situation for the girl. Hitoshi is a little shit so he is having fun here. “And I wus emotional too, okay! Y’know we all were pent up in that car.” 

“Thats true. But you did still insist on doing everything we say, so I’m simply taking your word on it,” he sniffs on the sample piece and coughs heavily. Maybe some of his reaction is for show, but he can feel the horror on her face so his deception is worth it. He regains posture and lifts the sample to her face, his own face again deadpan. “Honestly, I’m letting you out of your misery here.” 

Apparently Hagakure could not argue with that logic, and is about to actually eat the sample, holy shit.

Hitoshi bites down on his lip so he didn’t break character, and even then a faint whistle sound forces its way out as Hagakure inches forward towards the sample.

And she continues to inch.

Shit is truly holy.

 

...

 

Denki’s Dumb Friend-senses are tingling. 

Honestly, he never had the honor to acquire that sense until after he came to UA, and his old friends were to one who had to develop it then.

“Guys, somethings wonky.” Yaoyorozu and Midoriya’s attention is taken away from their game of yatzi with one homeless man. When they turn around, they can feel themselves becoming worried for the guy. Denki’s eyes are wide open and mouth a straight line, like he is about to get possessed and knows it himself. 

Their plan of moving slowly so they don’t end up deep in the unsteady mall is about to be disrupted. Which is unfortunate, because they could just have fun and take it easy, and if Denki needed help with his essay, he could just ask two of one of the smartest student in class.

“Okay... If thats coming from you, I’m really worried,” Midoriya tries to joke, but Denki closes his laptop with a loud smack, that he did in fact have open so he could work on his essay. Emphasis on Tried. 

He ended up looking up body pillows of blonde boys to give to Kirishima, and maybe his Bad Friend tingles is just him wanting to procrastinate in another way that is not confusing his sheer sexuality. Maybe, okay. Denki lets that train of thought miraculously go and continues to pack his laptop. Yaoyorozu and Midoriya follows soon after. When Iida and Sero is not there, Midoriya tries to step up to the part of the class’s dad, even though he is now the class’s scary cute baby instead.

His brains goes off-track until he hears Yaoyorozu exclaim, nose in the air like a disgruntled rich girl. “What is that smell?” And yes, there is a strong smell. He feels that smell in all levels that are unnecessary; goosebumps reaching places he didn’t know could have goosebumps, and thats when he knows-

“Shinsou!” He shouts, and the only answer he gets is the impressive sound of Hagakure choking. 

The sound was faint, so they know they have to haul ass.

Yaoyorozu ends up dragging Denki by his pikachu pajama shirt, her long legs leaping over hobo after hobo, exclaiming apologies that was somehow sincere no matter how many times she said them. Midoriya was hauling ass in front of them, again holding the computer in an iron grip. Goddamn, guy gotta be the godfather to Denki’s baby or something. He is as committed to Denki’s essay as Denki is committed to keeping up with Yayourozu.

“Follow the ice trail, guys, and don’t slip!” Midoriya exclaims, and there was indeed melting ice on the ground. Denki wonders where it came from. Midoriya jumps right into it, but he is kinda clumsy too. He makes a sick flip, but Denki knows enough about accidental cool flips to know that Midoriya did not intend that one.

Yayourozu is strong, but only a few people can redirect the entire direction of another clumsy person during sleepiness. 

So Denki is slipping now. Right on his ass.

“Kaminari!” Yayourozu yells in shock before falling down as well. However, she manages to create a snowboard-looking piece at last second. She hauls her body up, and she gives Denki space so he can hold to the end of the board.

“Where did you learn to stand on a snowboard?!” Denki shouts, teeth clattering together as shaved ice goes through his thin pajama pants. His cold hands clutches the board and he tries to movie his ass to the rhythm of the board, but even he can see that he is throwing off her balance. 

“When you got a lot of money you pick up on a lot of hobbies!” She explains with a face of ambitious dedication. Yayourozu slides against the widening ice trail like some pro. Her knees shift weight with profound purpose, often graceful in her movements. Whenever a hobo tries to test the ice, she pulls the occasional sharp swing or high jump, which Denki cannot even try to fathom the kinetic science behind. 

Her professionalism soon breaks with wobbly arms and an almost crash caused by a particulary stubborn hobo. “Uhm, Kaminari, could you make yourself lighter somehow?”

Well, of course not. His quirk doesn’t make it easier to just loose weight. Which sucks, because you can only use a snowboard for that long on a surface that is not steep. With his weight, they are definitely slowing down. Obviously thats what she does not need right now, if they want to reach Shinsou quick enough. The tingles and stench shows that they really have to reach him soon too. Denki stops his natural instinct to reply with a snarky comment. He knows he has to make a difficult decision. 

He catches the sight of a Segway.

Okay, its not that difficult. Segways are fucking cool. 

Denki gives a peace sign as he jumps away from the snowboarding girl. Yayourozu yells after him because of worry, but at least she can snowboard like she is supposed to. He doesn’t land perfectly on the Segway, but he is pretty close. 

“Watch yourself, clumsy-ass kid!” A homeless guy barks at him as Denki stumbles between his legs.

Again, pretty close.

He runs towards the bulky vehicle, and seizes it up for a second. It got cool looking buttons on it, so he presses the “on” button that looks the same on every device and toy. He steps into it, feeling every inch of mall cop he hoped for as he grips those cushioned handles. But the Segway was not what he expected.

“Damnit, Shinsou could commit arson before I get there!” He whines, and he knows his friend wouldn’t do something that bad. But with his smart ass brain, he absolutely could.

As the Segway peacefully trudges on, Denki stares wistfully at the ice left on the floor. He slumps over the vehicle and thinks. Yayourozu’s approach was maybe the smarter one, as usual. It was much easier to slide on the ice after all.

Ice.

Denki has an idea.

 

...

 

“Shinsou, I changed m’mind,” Hagakure suddenly pulls her head away from the sample. Which Hitoshi cannot believe after she let out such an impressive, gross sound from her bare throat. 

He is actually invested now. If that was her reaction to being close to the thing, what would she possibly do when she had the little shit piece in her mouth? 

“Hagakure, come on,” his voice is hoarse from his guttural wheezes and desperation, “you promised. You gonna let me be in the dust? Betrayed?”

“I’m like, 90% sure das’ straight up rat poo. I know I did wrong, dude, but...  
Y’wanna be badder than me by making me eat literal shit?” Hagakure slurs on, the more she inches away the more Hitoshi can feel his soul withering away. Hitoshi knows she is trying to be sneaky. But she cant beat a rat at his own game, or some other saying. Hitoshi really cannot focus on sayings other than those that will make Hagakure submit.

“If I have to do something mildly bad for the greater good, I totally fucking would. Now open your mou-“

“NEVER!” 

The girl starts stripping, arms crossing and ready to take off her shirt like butter. Hitoshi is fuming. He didn’t even use his quirk for anything, while she is completely ready to just ghost away with her own? He grabs the hem of her shirt that was already halfway off, and forces it down her body. Like hell he’ll let her go off now. 

“Lemme go, perv!” 

Hitoshi knows she is just sprouting bullshit at this point. “Shut up.  
I’m literally dressing you.” He snarks, tucking the shirt down her pants while the other hand holds the sample. He will not be inappropriate with the girl; because he firmly believes a hero should not do disgusting acts such as one another purple being before him. But, he will be clever and use small, innocent tricks that wont traumatize her.

While she is flustered, he is ready to shove the sample down her throat.

Hitoshi lifts his arm high above him, while the other hand fumbles to pull on invisible hair. Now he knows she is facing him, at least. She’d thank him for not shoving poo into her hair. 

Hitoshi is about to do the most brutal “here comes the plane” play ever.

 

...

 

Denki can finally see them, the light. 

He glides through the ice like a graceful gay ice skater; hair whipping back side to side as he almost skillfully glides on ice, eyes barely open. The cold wind is biting into his skin, giving him the illusion of an open snowfield. He almost cannot hear that one drug dealer calling him a snow fairy as some backwards insult. Best christmas ever.

Yayourozu and Midoriya turns around when they hear a screech from a familiar song that keeps inching closer and closer.

Denki loves how their faces contorts into shock.

Midoriya starts rubbing at his tired eyes, probably thinking that he is starting to hallucinate out of exhaustion. 

Because how else could a person see Kaminari Denki, whom for Midoriya’s emotional and tired brain, had passed away from slipping on ice; sideway T-posing on a tipped-over Segway? With dangerous electricity crackling of the vehicle and his feet? To top the absurdity off, a few buttons on the Segway was popped off, showing cables that Denki had grabbed and put in one, bare hand.

Midoriya forgot that he was using full cowl, so he punches himself away from the Todoroki ice rink. The computer did not join him on his accidental departure, but Yayourozu did an actual sick flip and caught it in her own hands. 

While they still had the computer, they lost one man. A formidable one too, and Denki feels bad. It was his fault, he has to fix it.

He can still save the scary baby, so when he passes Midoriya he bends down and grabs his leg with his free hand.

“Dude get up, you gotta t-pose with me or we’ll fall off!” 

Midoriya manages to scramble up with a little help from Denki, but he is still wobbly. Denki grabs his wrists and stretches them out, and finally the guy is t-posing as well. 

“Why can’t I just use full cowl now?!” Midoriya shouts his question so he can be heard. Denki does not see the issue here, he is proud of his plan and ability to help Midoriya. Or, well, they are front to front with their arms out, and there is not a lot of space between them. Okay, Denki can kinda see the issue Midoriya got, since he is much more shy than Denki is. But again, Midoriya will probably slip as soon as he leaves Kaminari’s fool proof plan.

“Well yeah, but you sucked at running on ice though.”

“Yeah, but I am about to get electrocuted soon.” 

Oh, that was a problem for the guy, too. 

“I only got electricity on these two buttons and my hands. Everyone in class has been zapped by me anyway, its not something you won’t handle. Honestly dude, you are safer here,” Kaminari argues calmly even with wind whipping his everything, “but, if you are uncomfortable about this position, we can mix it up if you want.” 

The moment Denki finishes his lengthy explanation of why his plan is better, a piece of something terrible smelling almost gouges out Midoriya’s eye and throws off his balance. He grabs Denki’s shirt so he does not fall off, the other arm already committed to the t-pose he unfortunately had to break.

“Careful, dude! You’re heavier than you look!” Denki leaned backwards so they would not fall off. Midoriya excused himself with a nervous laughter, and when he was about to take away his hand from Denki’s shirt, another thing came flying. 

The stink saucer came for Denki’s throat this time. Midoriya, ever the charming hero, dipped Denki low, leaving space between the boys. While Denki smiled awkwardly up at Midoriya, Yayourozu finally spoke up.

“Boys, the mall is turning into a danger zone! Please swallow all shyness and survive this ride as a team. If we are having a hard time on the outskirts of this chaos, imagine what our friends are going through in the centre!” Yayourozu speaks up, as she has created a slim shield to block most the nasty sharp things coming their way. There was a lot of them. And one of those attackers were a purple sock? Yikes.

Midoriya sighs the best he can even though there is no breath in his lungs. He is a pretty good team player anyway, even if all this sort of intimate human contact is too much for his sleepy mind. He guesses it will do to simply mix up the positions.

 

...

 

As far as Hitoshi knows, Todoroki is completely obvious to Hitoshi and Hagakure wrestling on the ground. And maybe it is better this way, because it is not a pretty wrestle. 

Hitoshi’s shirt is off and tied around Hagakure. To the best of his abilities, he still did not manage to keep either her shirt or left sock on. She had taken her slipper off to beat it against Hitoshi’s head with her fucking monkey toes, and his mouth is full of her right sock. Even though both her feet are occupied, Hagakure and Hitoshi manages to thrash the whole candy store, shit pieces be damned as they fly from their man-made tornado and into the unknown.

Hitoshi spits out the sock and sees it fly into the unknown. He cannot pay it mind, he turns to look at Hagakure with a menacing look as he tries to wrestle her.

“Hagakure, listen to me!” Hitoshi continues to hiss, but it is pointless because Hagakure had stopped replying to anything he said a long time ago.

She knows this has become a war of quirks the moment she tried to strip and scram.

“We made an agreement, and you are being a traitor!” Just because she won’t reply, does not mean she won’t listen, “don’t you know this is a gift from me to you? You have not bought shit for anyone. A video of you eating this thing, could salvage your faults as a human being.” 

Hagakure listens for a second before flipping Hitoshi on his back, knee digging into his chest. Jesus, he thinks as he coughs, these class A people are fucking strong despite whatever their quirks are. He grabs the knee and squeezes it. She cringes and tries to move it away, but he had her where he needed. Not as strong as needed, though. 

“Imagine Uraraka and Mina’s reaction; they’d be smiling so hard because of happiness, because they would know your friendship was that strong you’d do something so awful just for them to laugh. Even Tokoyami and Shouji would actually snort, something I know you have tried to make them do for a long time. You would finally succeed on your big mission...

Imagine Ojiro...” 

Hagakure actually stops fighting then, her guard shook. 

Fucking jackpot.

But instead of throwing her off and take physical control, Hitoshi did what he is actually better at, quirk or not; take emotional control. Very close to mind control. Very convenient for a guy like him, you see.

He slowly rises up while looking Hagakure dead in her eyes; he had been groping her head enough to know where they are at this point. Both his hands was laid out in front of him, a phone in one and sample in the other.

“You know Ojiro’s humor, and you know he would love every second of watching you do something like this for him. Of all people, he would appreciate this gift the most.” Hitoshi takes a break from the deep guilt inducing conversation just to take her off guard, “sure, he probably wont try and kiss you after a long time. But I can assure you it will feel better for him when he does make the move and doesn’t taste rat shit from you.”

Hagakure’s shoulders rises up and she squeaks, very unlike the warrior she was a few seconds ago. If he could actually see her face, he is sure it would be completely red by now. Completely distracted too, of course. He decides to pull back and guilt trip her again, now that he has distracted her. Hitoshi cocks his head, eyebrows furrowing upwards in mock sorrow and disbelief,

“will you really, really let him, of all people, down?” 

Everything is quiet again. No samples are flying, no body parts are hitting the ground. No clothing is stripped off, in all innocent ways possible. The only sounds are Hagakure’s heavy breath, Todoroki’s ice quirk working without his knowing, and the strategic tapping of Hitoshi’s knuckles. There are only three people in the world right now, one of them irrelevant but still listening to this intimate brainwash, still aware unlike one desperate girl.

Her pajama sleeves are trembling, the knocking probably throwing her thinking off, just like it is supposed to.

Sixteen knocks later, and she gives up.

 

...

 

Denki and Midoriya has changed position. Sure, it is more useful, but if it is more comfortable, Denki really does not know. 

Denki is lifted up by Midoriya. Midoriya’s hands are gripping his waist, and Denki still has his hands thrown out in a t-pose. They are also still sideways, so Midoriya has to lean back into an uncomfortable looking angle so they don’t fall forward. Whenever they have to, Midoriya can swing him around to avoid the smelly bomb-things. And when it comes down to it, Denki can kick shit off with his foot so Midoriya wont have to sacrifice himself for the hundredth time. 

More comfortable, maybe not, but it is an even more fool proof plan. Yayourozu has given her snowboard to some nice hobo and had created some pretty ice skating shoes, those thin white ones with decoration. Not only are they prettier, but she can move even faster now, guiding the two boys. They are ready to end whatever bullshit their friend are playing.

**Author's Note:**

> It took a whole ass year to create another fic, huh,,
> 
> Well anyways, Im still late to the christmas joy but here there is a little christmas shopping fic, even though no gifts were shopped yet... again, huh
> 
> If you want to talk about the teens doing stupid teens stuff, yoh can find me at tumblr @bnhoe-helloe


End file.
